When I get stuck, my first line of defense is to pout! Yes, I have to admit it… I occasionally pout!
As a kid, pouting was my go-to strategy when things didn’t go my way.
My second line of defense is to go into overwhelm… and my third pattern is to just “check out”!
When I hit “check out” phase, you can usually find me on the couch taking a nap. I’m done. Kaput!
- Do any of these behavior patterns solve getting me unstuck? NO!
- Do any of these behavior patterns get me what I want? NO!
- Do any of them help me move forward or work around my blocks? NO!
This is why it is so important to understand HOW you think!
You need to understand how your behaviors – and the thought patterns behind them – keep you stuck.
Let’s break down what’s happening behind each of these 3 patterns to help you understand.
Here is why these behaviors will ALWAYS keep me stuck:
First –> I am focused on WHAT IS WRONG…
not on how I can get a different outcome. I am stuck in judgment and attachment to a specific outcome. When I put all my emotional energy into what is wrong. I can’t strategize my way out of the problem. In essence, when I’m caught up in emotion, I can’t use the logical, rational part of my brain to problem solve. It’s almost physically impossible.
Second –> I am focused on the EXTERNAL SITUATION
not internally on what I can do about it. When I put all my focus externally, I am limiting my power. And that’s because I have no power on external situations. My power resides in my ability to make different choices. So when I blame and complain, cry, pout, whine or shut down, I am telling the universe that I am powerless over this situation. And of course, I’m going to get from the universe exactly what I put out there… which is powerlessness!
Third –> I am not TAKING RESPONSIBILITY
to create a different outcome. When I blame and complain, I am telling the universe that it is more important to me to have this emotional experience – the experience of not getting my way – than it is to solve the problem. Humans are the only species I know of who would rather pout and cry than problem solve!
All of this is because of the stories we tell ourselves. Behind these behaviors are stories and these stories are our limiting beliefs about ourselves and how the world around us works.
Behind pouting is the story “I can’t”… or “I can’t do it alone”… or some variation of that.
Behind Overwhelm is the story “I can’t figure this out”… or “I’m not smart enough”… or “Mistakes and Failure are bad”.
Do any of these sound familiar to you?
We all have limiting beliefs. The trick is to recognize them so you can break through them.
In next week’s blog we’ll start strategizing new ways to discover your limiting beliefs. And after that, we will start working on strategies to bust through them.
Stay tuned. We have lots more territory to explore.
Got a question or topic you want me to cover? If so, write your question in the comments below and I’ll be happy to cover it in a future blog article.
Photo Credit: Noel Zia Lee